Our loss

I haven't posted for awhile because we have been dealing with the loss of my mother-in-law. She passed on October 22 from complications from pneumonia. It was very hard to let go, but I know she is happy to be with her husband and her son. She missed them so.

I will miss Norma's sense of humor and her wisdom. She taught me how to crochet and we had many interesting conversations while doing our handiwork. She was a lovely woman and I am better for having known her.

The bookseller had a really hard time watching his mother slip away. I understand how he was feeling, but it is impossible to shelter anyone from the pain of loss. Then, when you suddenly fell like an orphan, the total aloneness creeps in. He will get through this, but it breaks my heart to see him hurt.

So I am turning to happier thoughts. Thanksgiving is right around the corner and I am so excited to have the days off so I can cook for the family and have them all around us. We will miss having Tim and Lori and the kids here, but they will surely be in our thoughts and prayers. I am most looking forward to making the gingerbread houses. A tradition we started just last year, but it is a good one. I make the houses (15 last year) and everyone brings candy for decorating them. Each one is different and uniquely their own. So much fun! I can't wait!

The Bookseller's Birthday

The Bookseller is having a birthday tomorrow. I love to do special things for him on his birthday, but this one will be a bit different. Our boys live out of town, so they won't be here. Our daughter lives close by, but her children are so busy with after school sports and such that she worn't be making it either. So that leaves the Bookseller with me!

I think I'll take him on a date to dinner and a movie. We have a theater in town that serves food and drinks right in the theater while your watching the movie. I don't know what movies are playing, but I'm sure they have all of the most recently released titles. I'll just let the Bookseller pick the movie.

Since it is October and we are in the middle of fall, I think I'll make a pumpkin cake. I have a "castle" shaped pan that will do nicely. I have always called the Bookseller my "knight in shining armor", so the castle will be perfect. Also, I happen to have a knight figurine that I found at a toy store that is the perfect size to adorn a castle cake!

I guess this birthday won't be so bad after all!

Merry Moose Creations

I have been working hard for the last 2 months creating fall decor to sell at a local farmer's market. This coming Wednesday is the delivery and set-up day and I can't wait. I have done this before, but it was always at a local holiday bazaar. Those can be exhausting 'cause you have to spend the entire day setting up and sitting at your table to sell your wares. With the market, all I have to do is deliver my goods and replenish the supply as needed! The market clerks will handle the sales. Sweet!

Anyway, designing fall and holiday decor with silk flowers and stems is a real passion of mine. It is very fulfilling to start with an empty container and just let your creativity make something beautiful with it. If all goes well, I'll make some extra cash for Christmas.

I even had some business cards made for my venture. I call it "Merry Moose Creations", designs by Bettie. You may wonder why I chose that title. Simply because I love moose! Some day, if I should happen to fulfill a dream to own a business, I would love to name my shop "Merry Moose Gifts and Holiday Decor". We'll see!

Let it Go

I have been struggling with my feelings lately and I know I need to deal with them and then just "let it go". It has been eating at me and I don't like the fact that I have let it dominate my daily life.
The problem is that I discovered one of my children was avoiding talking to me for whatever reason. I really thought I was doing a good job of letting him live his life without being judgemental, but I guess he didn't feel that way. Anyway, it hurts to discover that he and his family don't want to share their lives with me.
So, I know I must deal with it. I have been waiting for them to call, but I can see that just isn't going to happen. It is up to me to make the move. O.K. I'll do it. Then, maybe I will be able to "let it go".
Wish me luck.

A Day Off

I only got one day off this week and today was the day. So what to do with only one day off? Well, the Bookseller and I took our bikes out to a trail by the river and rode for awhile this morning. It was really wonderful to be together and to be getting some much needed exercise. The weather was perfect and the scenery beautiful! Later this afternoon we went out to the county fair where we enjoyed some great people watching and good "unhealthy" fair food!

It was truly a great day off!

Fun with Cake

My daughter-in-law's mother is turning 60 this weekend. The family is having a big "Luau" to celebrate and I have been asked to make the birthday cake. I am really excited to do this and I can hardly wait to work on it. I took a cake decorating class years ago and have enjoyed making cakes for many special occasions. I am certainly not a professional, but I do alright.
This cake will have 3 tiers. It will be covered with blue buttercream and I will edge it with white "waves". I made palm trees and sea shells by melting colored white chocolate into candy forms that I will adhere to the sides of the cake and I will pipe some flowers on the sides of the cake, also. I found a small ceramic flamingo for the topper. I think it will be very nice.
If I could afford to follow a dream, I would turn my garage into a bakery and try to make cakes for a living! For now, I will have to be content with making special occasion cakes for my family.

My Best Friend

The Bookseller and I spent the whole weekend together. We really didn't do much, but sure had a good time doing it! He cleaned his car and I washed his mats. We bought a new coffee maker. Enjoyed a couple of brews and an appetizer at a bar and grill on the river. I did some crafting for a project I'm working on for fall. Watched the Mariners lose again. All in all, it was a wonderful time with my best friend. So glad I've had an attitude adjustment! Life is good.

Let's get on with it!

I've decided that I need to quit whining and just get on with it. I really do have a wonderful life, and I am so blessed with a great family and fairly good health. So I took the reality pill and decided that now is the time to really start living each day as if it were my last! Today I begin with a new attitude and I will begin with a prayer.

Oh, man, am I tired!

I am just tired of being who I am! I wish I could just run off to some distant land and just spend some time finding me! I told my husband that I just wanted to coexist for awhile. He didn't take that news very well, but what is a guy to do! Anyway, I am tired of being Julie of the Love Boat and I just want to be me. I want to find out just who I am. I want so many things that I can't have, so it is important that I accept just what I can. I want to have a business. I want to be successful. I want to make a mark in the world. I don't really know what I want! Am I crazy? Do I need therapy? I don't know. I just know that I'm not happy. Maybe I will find answers in the next faze of my life!

Memorial Day

Here it is, the day to remember our family members and friends who served our country in the name of freedom. Oh, how I wish I could have my dad back, if only for a moment, to tell him how proud I am to be his daughter. He served in the Navy during WWII. I have always considered myself patriotic, however I am sure I don't really know the pride the men and women of the armed services feel each and every day. I am truly thankful to all of them.

Alone in Calgary

Usually I love my job. However, today I'm feeling a little trapped by it. I am here in Calgary for 15 hours. Alone in a hotel room. That in itself is not the problem. My family members back home are experiencing life situations without me. Grandkids are playing ballgames, our oldest son (The Trainer) is interviewing for a life-changing job, our youngest son (The Dentist) came home to visit, our niece (The Author) is releasing her first book, and The Bookseller is taking care of everything without me! Yes, I'm feeling sorry for myself.

Mothers Day thoughts

I had a wonderful mothers day with my husband. We just hung out at home for awhile doing whatever we wanted to do. The Bookseller worked outside in the yard and I cleaned some cupboards in the kitchen. I know it doesn't sound like fun, but it was good to have the time to get it done. Then we headed over the river to his mother's house to wish you well and take her some pound cake. She went to dinner with us and surprised us both with a good appetite! Then we stopped by our daughter's house to give her a card and some pound cake and stayed to watch the Amazing Race finale'. All in all, a good day!

I couldn't help but think of my mother and wish she was here, also. It has been 17 years since she passed on, but I still miss her. Our relationship had its ups and downs through the years, but the bond between mother and daughter holds forever. I hope she is proud of me and I pray that she knows how grateful I am for all she taught me.

I also thought alot about our daughter-in-law, Lori, and how she must be missing her mother. She lost her mom just 5 months ago so each holiday is a bit tough. Especially, mothers day. Lori and her mother were so very close and I know Lori depended on her very much. Her mother's death was such a sudden shock for everyone. Although Lori showed remarkable strength, I am sure she is hurting still and will for some time. I wish I had been able to put my arms around her to show her I care, but we are many, many miles apart. My prayers are with you, Lori.

The Age of Technology

My laptop decided to give it up a couple of weeks ago. The repair shop said my mother board was bad and they suggested getting a new computer. Money is tight and I thought I could live without one for awhile. I was wrong!

After 2 weeks without e-mail, facebook, web shopping and playing games, I was going through some nasty withdrawls. And I didn't even realize it until my husband surprised me with an early mothers day gift. You guessed it, he took me shopping and let me pick out my new computer!

I decided to downsize a bit as my old computer was so heavy to travel with. So I got a netbook this time. It is half the size of a regular laptop and weighs only a couple of pounds. It does everything I need it to do and more. I love it! I am indeed a lucky girl!

How do I love thee....

I was checking my facebook account and ran accross a friend who recently lost her husband to lung cancer. I sent her a "thinking of you" message and then began thinking about my husband and of how much I would miss him if he were gone. It creates a pain in the pit of my stomach and leaves me hurting so much! I have been with the Bookseller for 39 years. We have become so in tune with eachother and downright compatible that we seldom disagree on anything. I love being with him. Rarely does a moment go by that I don't think of him.

The thing is, the Bookseller isn't in the best of health and it is mostly of his own doing. I have continually hinted that he is more and more at risk for a heart attack. However, he won't be able to change his ways until he is ready. Oh, how I hope that day comes soon! I can't imagine my life without him!

Hair Raising

So I have really thin, fine hair and adding color helps give it body. I used to have it done professionally on a regular basis, but it is expensive and I just can't afford to do that anymore. I have been doing it myself for a number of years now and using the same brand and color number. It's been alright. Sometimes alright gets old. So I decided to step out of the box and try a new color and brand. Well, I am not happy! I was going for a deep auburn color and ended up with "old lady purple". I've tolerated it for about 3 weeks, but just could not go any longer with purple hair. Today I bit the bullet and had my hair professionally cut and colored. I asked for copper and ended up red! But I like it! And the best part is, the Bookseller likes it! That's a good thing 'cause I know he won't like the bill. Hmmmm...

Take Me Out to the Ballgame

Today we spent five hours at the ballpark watching the first games of our grandchildren for the season. It was a beautiful day with sunshine and no rain! That's not common this time of year in the Northwest. However, even though the weather was good, the games were not good. It's going to be a long, long season! That seems to happen every other year. Oh, well, we enjoy watching the games no matter what the outcome.

I spent yesterday making sugar cookies for Easter. Lots of little bunnies, ducks, tulips carrots and butterflies. It is always fun to make these cookies for the holidays and then send them off to the grandkids who live in other states and won't be able to join us for Easter dinner. Oh, how I wish we all lived near eachother so we could share these special times. But life isn't always like Norman Rockwell depicted and we just have to adapt.

Home for the Holiday

I am so excited because I won't be working on Easter and will get to cook dinner for the family! Working for an airline has required me to miss all of the holidays for the past three years. I have really missed fixing the holiday meals and setting a nice table for all the family. Only one of our children and her family will be with us this year, but with grandma and my sister-in-law that will make nine at the table.

I have been having so much fun planning my tablescape. I am going with lavender since I have so many linens and things in that color already. I don't have enough chargers in one color so I think it will have to be placemats. Each guest will have a mini basket with candies and stuff. Then the three kids can search the yard for the 88 eggs I filled! Should be fun. Grandma can't eat ham, which is what I would prefer cooking, so I think I'll just roast a small turkey. Can't ever go wrong with turkey. And I found a yummy recipe for a pineapple, coconut cake that sounds perfect for dessert.

I can't wait till retirement so I can be home and cook for every holiday!

Home with the Tax Man

I am off from work for the week because I was summoned for jury duty. The last time I was on jury duty was in 1972! It's exciting to be serving again, but things are different now. I called a phone number last night and got a recording that told me my group wasn't needed today. Oh, boy! I really was looking forward to sitting in the court room for the jury selection process, but instead I get to sit here at home listening to the Bookseller rage over doing the taxes! Fun!

Don't get me wrong, I'm eternally thankful to the Bookseller for doing the taxes and all of our financial dealings. It's just that I don't enjoy hostility! He gets really wound up when the process doesn't go as smoothly as it should. On top of that, he is listening to MSNBC! The politics of our nation aren't helping his mood.

I think I'll go shopping!

Grandkids

Today is Ty's birthday! He is 10 years old today. How special is that? I remember being 10 and some of my favorite memories are from that age.

Ty is a special kid. He is so sensitive of others and yet a wonderful competitor. That is a great combination of traits to have. He is the middle child of my oldest son. I cherish the special moments we have had together. Unfortunately, we aren't together very often. They live in Kentucky which is many, many miles from our home. I have the ability to travel there, I just don't have the time. Work seems to get in the way! Oh, how I look forward to the day when time won't be an issue!

The Fab Five

My daughter and our grandkids were here for dinner tonight. It was nice to cook for a group again. Cooking has always been a pleasure and I have missed it. Not that I don't cook for my husband and myself, but meals for two are a whole different ballgame! It's not much fun.

After dinner, we all enjoyed rockin' out on Guitar Hero with The Beatles Rock Band. What a hoot to be playing Beatles music on a pretend guitar just like I used to do in 1965! It brought back such sweet memories that these grandkids can't possible understand, but we all enjoyed together. I love just being with family!

It is back to work tomorrow. I'll be out of town until Sunday. I just found out I will be off for Easter and I am thrilled. I haven't had a Sunday off for so long and I miss going to church. Being able to go to church on Easter will be such a blessing. And then I will get to cook a holiday meal! Life is good.

GETTING OLD IS OVERRATED!

These are supposed to be my golden years. However, all I am really feeling is tarnished! I have so many aches and pains, I am taking so many drugs for so many different ailments and now I have discovered that I have glaucoma and may lose my sight in one eye. What's an old girl to do?



O.K. So maybe I didn't do everything I could have done to keep myself healthy through the years. But I didn't do anything gross to my body, either! A little drinking and smoking never hurt anybody! So why is it that I have so many darn things wrong with me now? Just unlucky, I guess.

I ordered my new glasses today. It is something I've been needing to do, but found easy to neglect. The upgrade will be "transitions" to help protect my eyes in the sun. Boy, glasses are expensive! Another crappy side effect to getting old!

CHILLIN' IN MISSOULA

This is the third night of my four-day trip and I will be glad to get home tomorrow. It will be good to have three days off from work. I really love my job, but days off are much better! It is really chilly here in Montana tonight and we got in too late for me to go walking anywhere. My body is needing to walk, but the hours this week just haven't provided the opportunity. Hopefully I will find the time for walking when I'm home.

I'm watching Disney's "Snow White" in TV. They really were ahead of their time in animation. Sure brings back great memories! I'm looking forward to seeing "Alice In Wonderland" which just opened this week. It looks like a great movie and it has a brilliant cast of performers. I mean, who doesn't love Johnny Depp?

DUELING LAPTOPS

Here we sit in our very comfortable family room, enjoying "American Idol", and playing games on our laptops. We do this often. It is a good feeling to know that the bookseller is here with me. We say very little, but that is alright. We just like being here.

The book store is struggling right now. We are trusting that it is just a temporary setback due to the troubling economy. The bookseller just finished his annual inventory and now it's time for the taxes! This is when I make myself small and stay out of his way, 'cause he gets really intense.

I will be off flying tomorrow for four days. This should be a good trip with two nights in Missoula and one in Wenatchee. Both are destinations I enjoy. Looking forward to the day when I can have a weekend off. I guess I was spoiled when I worked for the public schools and had every weekend and all holidays off! Oh, well, maybe some day.

We got a call from our oldest son this evening. He lives in Kentucky with his wife and three children and we miss them. All is well there, but I can tell he is lonely for "home". He and his wife both grew up here in the northwest and are looking forward to the time when they will be able to move back. Not sure when that will be.